Home is where the heart is

Tomorrow, the truck comes to haul our worldly possessions across the highway to our new abode. Our penultimate day in this old house that I've had my problems with. Too dark, no room for me, not feeling at home.

But when in my life did I ever feel at home? Growing up, home was not homey. Lack of adequate heat, enough water, and other luxuries made things rustic to say the least. When anything broke, it stayed that way. When a part of the house was unsafe, it was to be avoided. Any wonder I hate camping? I learned to walk around things, simultaneously not noticing their existence or absence. Also, the unspoken and spoken rule that I wasn't allowed to invite anyone over or even into the house for a minute, made it hard to have that warm, homey feeling. Growing up that way led to living in my head. A habit I haven't really been able to shake all these years, even in my own apartments and my own home. I would feel equally at home at a friend's house or hotel as I did at my own home. Whereever I was, that was where I lived. I never wanted to particularly get back to my own place. I could say this is all zen-y, groovy detachment, but \I think you need to be able to attach before you detach!

Sharing a home, albeit with a nice guy, drove me under, yet again. At first this house felt like Gameguy's house because it *was* Gameguy's house and he had rules and traditions. Later it felt like a house I had to live in but didn't choose. I never had what it took to stake my claim on this house. To fight it our and have a mauve powder room or whatever the hell people this is crucial to their vision of home. I want the new house to be different. I want to learn what a home is and how to feel at home in it. Today, I could walk away from our old house and everything in it, except the family and my kitchen aid mixer, and never look back. I wonder if it's possible for an old "gypsy" like me to change her tent stripes?

Out of the mouthes of babes

Comet: "Hey, Dad! I'm already here.....and I'm NAKED!"

Come on-a my house!

We now officially own the house! It was beautiful out there today, all nature-y and not too far from town-y. I left my purse at the new house and had to go back after I picked up Comet at school and we got to hang out with our old friends who are now our new neighbors. Comet had a blast with the two big boys and I enjoyed showing the abode to the grown-ups. The fish were swimming about and I saw a salamander running around on the rocks by the small pond. It will be a good place to live.

We close tomorrow!

After much waiting and anxiety, we close on out new house tomorrow! Now we just have to get all of our unattractive crap out of our current abode so that the Realtor can make this house look gorgeous with sham decor so that it will sell for a great price, very quickly! Amen!

I'm still both exhilarated and hinky about living out in all that nature (albeit a couple of miles from town). What about snakes? Will I look up in the sky and find that Dolce (cat 2) has "caught" a hawk? We've already had a skunk and a series of raccoons come into our city house via the cat door, so what will await us in the country? Bears? Opossums? Neighbor kids?

Wish us luck!