The Heart of the Matter

So I just paid umpteen dollars for the "heart" of a watermelon. Because the thought of cutting up a watermelon or even separating the juicy part from the rind of a quarter of a watermelon causes me serious fatigue. It's kind of a pre-traumatic stress disorder. Of my housework aversions, which are many and various, cutting up produce makes me want to stick my head in the crisper drawer and bang it closed repeatedly. It's too much to ask of me. Really.

I grew up in a home where it was considered shameful to have someone come in and do housecleaning. How could anyone (i.e. any woman) be that lazy! How, indeed? I should also add that my family was not in a position to be hiring outsiders to do anything, period. Years passed, and I triumphed over the voices of the past as soon as I could afford a house cleaner. We have gladly paid people to clean for years now. Before I had cash flow, I just didn't clean. Almost completely the truth. So, considering my relationship with fresh produce, It's safe to say that I would probably pay people to do anything for me. If I'd pay the grocery store five times the price of uncut watermelon to chop a little chunk out of the middle and put in a plastic box for me, I've got to wonder what I wouldn't pay for. Give me unlimited income, and I'll have someone come in the morning to open my eyes and my mouth and pour coffee in the right opening. Good times.

P.S. Kudos to GameGuy for cutting up an entire watermelon into perfect pieces for Comet's school park get together yesterday! Without his good work, I probably would have dropped the watermelon on the sidewalk and let the kids have at it.