Out of the mouthes of dudes...

Comet: " Mom, what's a babe?"

MK: "A baby?"

Comet: "No, a babe is a girl and a boy is a dude."

MK: "Hmm. Who told you that?"

Comet: "Nobody. I told myself."

But there's more:

Comet (to school secretary giving us a tour of his new school): "My mom looks younger than she is because she lost a few pounds."

The award for "funniest couple living in obscurity" goes to

Gameguy and Misty Krystal! (Wild applause and some award show theme music)

You know how funny *I* am, so here's a joke Gameguy just made up:

What's Medusa's favorite cheese?

Gorgonzola!

Come on, it's funny! That two such wits could live under one roof. The odds are staggering!

A little more misty, a little less dotty

I've changed my template! Let me know what you think (that'd be Perfecto and GameGuy).

MK

The Heart of the Matter

So I just paid umpteen dollars for the "heart" of a watermelon. Because the thought of cutting up a watermelon or even separating the juicy part from the rind of a quarter of a watermelon causes me serious fatigue. It's kind of a pre-traumatic stress disorder. Of my housework aversions, which are many and various, cutting up produce makes me want to stick my head in the crisper drawer and bang it closed repeatedly. It's too much to ask of me. Really.

I grew up in a home where it was considered shameful to have someone come in and do housecleaning. How could anyone (i.e. any woman) be that lazy! How, indeed? I should also add that my family was not in a position to be hiring outsiders to do anything, period. Years passed, and I triumphed over the voices of the past as soon as I could afford a house cleaner. We have gladly paid people to clean for years now. Before I had cash flow, I just didn't clean. Almost completely the truth. So, considering my relationship with fresh produce, It's safe to say that I would probably pay people to do anything for me. If I'd pay the grocery store five times the price of uncut watermelon to chop a little chunk out of the middle and put in a plastic box for me, I've got to wonder what I wouldn't pay for. Give me unlimited income, and I'll have someone come in the morning to open my eyes and my mouth and pour coffee in the right opening. Good times.

P.S. Kudos to GameGuy for cutting up an entire watermelon into perfect pieces for Comet's school park get together yesterday! Without his good work, I probably would have dropped the watermelon on the sidewalk and let the kids have at it.

My tired is tired

As I walked up the front walk carrying tonight's pizza, I thought of lying face down on the grass, arms extended, holding the pizza box out in front of my tired little head. I did not lie down. I persevered. Now I am stuffed and tired.

I could blame 44 years of sloth for my current exhaustion, but I blame pilates. One class and I thought I'd have to ask for a bag to carry my pelvis home. This morning, I was suspiciously not sore. By 4 p.m., however, I felt like I climbed Mt. Everest to get to my pilates class. The old grey Mare, she ain't what she used to be.

I always thought of myself as hale and hardy. Now my personal ecosystem is so tenuous that last Thursday my whole day was ruined when I got water up my nose (swimming). Feeble, thy name is Misty.

I'm blogging!

Suffice it to say, stuff is happening, mostly good, and I'm counting this as a post. It counts. It really counts.

MK

Happy Mutha's Day!

So, this mother's Mothers Day started out with a real punch! No, really! I got punched first thing this morning by the fruit of my loins because I insisted that he eat a little breakfast before I let him play with *my* Colorforms. A timeout was in order and as I commiserated with GameGuy, I found myself saying, "I mean I carried Comet inside me! I've got a SCAR, Blogdammit! Now this!" All is not lost, however. I just finished watching "Pride and Prejudice" (Colin Firth edition) and GameGuy had intimated that there are plants, hopefully very hardy plants, to be planted in my honor this afternoon. After blogging, I plan to take a shower and hit Barnes and Noble with my lovely gift cards! Don't cry for me, Angelina (Jolie). Who knows, maybe she got punched a few times today, too.

Plus, I had a splendid 44th birthday yesterday thanks to the work of GameGuy, Our Lady of Perfection (OLOP, my friend and patron saint of all black dogs), and a friend who will remain nameless until I make up his blog alias. I got wonderful books, just when I really needed a good read, flowers, music, spin art, gift cards, and a Toob of Jamestown Settlers (I loved me some Captain John Smith as a little girl). Also, there was angelfood cake with strawberries! Did I further mention the Tibetan/Indian food and a few really good bellylaughs with OLOP and my other friend whilst GameGuy took Comet home for bed? What a great birthday for a woman in her middle years. Thanks!