White Woman Complaining numero uno

Gameguy will be (5 miles) away at a board game convention this week and I'm turning up the heat! No, I'm not going to exercise for four hours a day or have a torrid affair in his semi-absence. I am, literally, turning up the heat, as in the thermostat! Sixty-nine tropical degrees! It's the least I can do for myself as I will be an almost solo parent this week.

Now before you go feeling sorry for me, don't! Gameguy does more than his share of parent work and holds a full-time job. Also, he's a homebody, so when other husbands are heading to the golf course or their favorite fishin' hole or waterin' hole, he's right here, ready to let me take an emergency nap. He doesn't even have commuter time to himself, unless you count the walk down the stairs from his office. He can bring home the bacon, and if necessary, will fry it up in a pan without complaint. His board game hobby is wholesome (at least the games he lets me see ) and he loves to share it with his family. Gameguy is all that and a bag of chips (potato or poker).

Like I said, don't feel sorry for me. Just let me do it for you! My complaints for today are that it is too cold, my house is not heating up fast enough, my technology is failing me (sassafrassin' cell phone won't make or take calls), and that's all I got. No, Wait! One of our cats is peeing on things: laundry, expensive yarn, my dresser. Quick call CSI, "Cat Scene Investigation!" How funny am I? But hear this, Dolce and Percy: as soon as there is a home DNA testing kit, somebody's furry little ass is grass. (Translation: I will be very cross with you and tell you so in no uncertain terms. Then I will wait, quietly seething and resenting, until you DIE OF OLD AGE! Take that, treacherous feline! Be afraid....very afraid! Hey, stop licking yourself and listen to me!)

Oh! Oh! I also have a couple of dilemmas! First, I would like to move, somewhere close by because I love the town, *or* even better, demolish our lovely, old, nearly historic home and build an airtight, hotbox with a huge jacuzzi tub, a sunroom, a large gameroom for my boys and a working fireplace. Maybe it would also have an extra-warm room for me that is just mine, and no one better go in there unless I invite them in! Also, I would drain our marshy yard, or plant a rice paddy.

Dilemma number two is more amorphous. It's the what "what will I do with my life" thing. This is something I've felt forever, even when I was formally employed, until I got pregnant. When the bun was in the oven, I felt that I was doing enough for the world and continued to feel that way until tha last year or so when Comet suddenly became a kid! Now Comet goes to school for a full day next year, and it's not like I'm gonna do more housework to while away the hours! I was talking about this with Gameguy and mentioned that when I had more free time, I could, in theory, clean more. Oh, how we laughed! How we chuckled! It really *is* that funny. It's a dang laugh riot!

But I am concerned about what to do with my time, which I know is a nice dilemma to have. Oh sure I could get a job, but I've been out of "the force" for years, I can't remember if I have any mad skills, and with the job market as tight as it is, I don't think I'm in demand. Financially, I don't need to get a job right away and, though he is a big as big, Comet will still have occasional need of me. I will remain chief procurement officer for our family, cook, laundress, and Janey on the spot. I might try my hand at painting a bathroom or two. You never know.

I plan to volunteer at Comet's school as much as they will let me. He's not getting rid of me that easy! Comet, I apologize in advance, as your middle school years will be extra embarassing with Mama, complete with her cane and bifocals, trotting along on your class trips in her orthopaedic shoes. Hmm, maybe I need a part-time job at least I should get in better shape before it all goes to hell in a hand basket. I'll be thinking on it.

So I'm doing quite well, thank you. Now I'm off to throw down the gauntlet, or at least my cheap cell phone, at the AT&T store. Excelscior!

Misty K

P.S. And another thing: my neighbor could let his dog in already so the barking would cease. That would be nice, too.